The British airmen have left the café, dressed in the colonel's and the captain's German uniforms. However, the airmen don't return their uniforms and they are getting more and more impatient to get them back. As Herr Flick of the Gestapo has finished his dinner with Helga, he decides to search the café. In order for him not to find the captain and the colonel, they are hidden, in their underwear, in the cupboard in madame Fanny's room.
While everybody else is carrying out this arrangement, René and Maria have a secret meeting in the backroom (which Herr Flick has now left), but they are soon interrupted by Michelle of the resistance, who, after René, Maria, Yvette and Edith all have gathered there, informs them that the British airmen have been captured by the communist resistance (Michelle is part of another, Gaullist resistance). Since they do not know where they are, they cannot get the uniforms back. Michelle then decides to ask for two German uniforms to be made in London. When René points out that he cannot tell the Germans he is in contact with London, Edith suggests telling the Germans that monsieur LeClerc is a tailor, who is going to make their new uniforms and therefore needs to take their measurements. After she has gone to tell LeClerc this, René points out that they cannot use the radio to contact London, since the Germans are hiding in the room where they have the radio. Michelle then suggests they contact London by carrier pigeon. Maria will go and pick them up the next day, disguised as a small boy.
When Roger LeClerc enters Fanny's room, she panics, since she thinks he has come to take the measurements for her coffin. However, she is soon calmed down when she and Roger recognize each other. It turns out they were childhood sweethearts and are very glad to meet again after all these years.
The next day, Michelle's resistance group discovers that the British airmen are being held by the communist resistance in a barn. Since they are wearing German uniforms, the communists think they are Germans and are about to torture them, to make them talk. Since the communists do not understand English and the airmen do not understand French, they misunderstand what the communists want and who they are. When they are shown a carburetor, with which the communists are about to torture them, they think they want them to fix their broken car. At first, they decline, since they do not know anything about cars. However, at gunpoint, they agree by nodding their heads - the communists thinking they are willing to talk. As they are cut lose, Michelle's resistance start shooting at the barn. Both the communists and the airmen think it is the Germans attacking and the communists escape, leaving the airmen. In order not to be shot as spies, the airmen get out of the uniforms and burn them.
Meanwhile, the two German officers dress up as onion sellers (using the disguises left by the airmen in the cupboard). They take a seat in the café and threaten René that he will be shot, unless he provides their uniforms in a hurry. Maria arrives in the café, disguised as a small boy, with the pigeons. Lieutenant Gruber gets a little suspicious as he sees this "boy" wearing suspenders and stockings, but as he is "one of them", he doesn't find it too strange. When Maria has hidden the pigeons, Herr Flick arrives and discover the captain and the colonel in their disguises. As an explanation, they make up a story about attempting to infiltrate the resistance. Herr Flick likes the idea and decides that he and Helga should do the same. After René has lectured Maria for not disguising herself better, Michelle shows up. After they have attached a note with the Germans' measurements to one of the pigeons, they airmen show up, dressed as scarecrows. The others hope to get the uniforms back from them, but as they learn that they have burned them, they must send for them from London after all. However, they can now do this over the radio, since the Germans are no longer hiding in the radio room. The pigeons are of no further use, so Maria leaves them in the kitchen.
Herr Flick takes Helga to his dungeon headquarters and orders her to undress, so they can disguise themselves as onion sellers. It turns out she is wearing a rather daring corset and asks Herr Flick if he disapproves of it. Not at all, he says, as it turns out he is wearing one himself.
Edith discovers Roger in Fanny's bed and when she learns about their love story, she approves of it. Meanwhile, René tells the Germans that their new uniforms will be made in London. The colonel is a little distressed to hear they will be made by Jewish tailors. However, there is not time to complain about this when Helga and Herr Flick arrive, dressed as onion sellers. René asks Edith to cook something special for them and, not knowing that the pigeons in the kitchen are carrier pigeons, she uses them to make casserole of pigeon. As the four "onion sellers" start eating it, Herr Flick discovers a note attached to one of the pigeons' legs and discovers it contains the measurements of two German officers' uniforms. Herr Flick leaves with the note, in order to send it straight to Berlin for analysis. However, since there are no names mentioned on the note, the others can then relax and enjoy the casserole in peace.
- Gorden Kaye as Rene Artois
- Carmen Silvera as Edith Artois
- Richard Marner as Kurt Von Strohm
- Vicki Michelle as Yvette Carte-Blanche
- Kirsten Cooke as Michelle Dubois
- Sam Kelly as Hans Geering
- Richard Gibson as Otto Flick
- Guy Siner as Hubert Gruber
- Kim Hartman as Helga Geerhart
- Rose Hill as Fanny LaFan
- Francesca Gonshaw as Maria Recamier
- Jack Haig as Roger Leclerc
- John D. Collins as Fairfax
- Nicholas Frankau as Carstairs
- Communist Resistance; Charles de Gaulle; The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies; France; French; German; Gestapo; Nazi; Nighthawk; Nouvion; Resistance; World War II
|Allo Allo Season 1|
|The British Are Coming ; The Fallen Madonna ; Pidgeon Post ; Saville Row to the Rescue ; The Execution ; The Funeral ; Red Nick's Colonel ; The Dance of the Hitler Youth|
|Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 4 | Series 5 | Series 6 | Series 7 | Series 8 | Series 9|