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René Artois

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Allo Allo character
Reneartois 228x328
Rene Artois
Nationality French
Gender Male
Hair Brown and Balding
Age 32, as discovered in "Forged Francs and Fishsellers."
Job Cafe Owner
Actor Gordon Kaye
First Pilot episode- The British are coming
Last A winkle in time

René François Artois is the owner of Café René in the French town of Nouvion. He is the husband of Edith Artois and lover to his Waitresses Yvette Carte-Blanche, Mimi LaBonq and Maria Recamier.


He owned a cafe during the war and served his dear friends but actual German enemies, Colonel Kurt Von Strohm and Captain Hans Geering. He is afraid of his wife Edith Artois because he is having an affair with their maids Yvette Carte-Blanche and Maria Recamier. His life soon transforms when becomes embroiled with the works of the Resistance and is forced by the German Colonel and Captain to hide the priceless painting The Fallen Madonna and a Cuckoo clock in his cellar. (AAE: The British Are Coming)


Rene is stubborn, sarcastic and reluctant, but can sometimes see himself good at something. He is also a coward and the only way the Resistance or the Germans are using himis by threatening to shoot him.

Talents and abilitiesEdit

Despite being very reluctant, Rene has many known talents.

  • Pianist - Rene is a potentially capable pianist, as shown on one occasion where his talents are badly covered up by his wife's incompetent singing.
  • Survivalist - Rene, in many episodes, is shown as an extremely capable survivor, living through a firing squad, a collapsing ceiling, the Battle of Nouvion and also a duel with Monsieur Alfonse.
  • Resilience - Rene is able to survive a volley of shots by a German firing squad. But it must be noted that the bullets were wooden and not meant to kill him.
  • Covering up his affairs-Rene is good at covering up his affairs with Maria/Yvette by giving his wife excuses when being caught alone with them

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